Large Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites Pizza w/One Topping (half mushroom, half bacon)
Item Purchased: Large Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites Pizza w/One Topping (half mushroom, half bacon)
Location Purchased: Pizza Hut / 1601 W. Division St. / Chicago, IL
Price: $10.19 + tax* (split three ways between my friends and I)
Review: Two pizzas in one week? I need to watch myself before I bloat back up to the 300lbs I weighed in high school. (I now weigh somewhere in between 190-200 and stand 6′4″ tall… which, I believe, qualifies for rail-thin). Not only that, but this was also the second time in one day where I was faced with a mushroom debacle. What is it with all of my friends enjoying fungus?
I’m always surprised at the things that become ubiquitous in our consumer culture. I mean, sure, Pizza Hut pizza will do in a pinch and is far better than any pizza of the frozen ilk, but I know people who absolutely love this stuff. I mean, swear by it. To me, the crust is always spongy and the toppings taste as if they have come out of a play-doh food sculpture. I suppose my friends and I were swayed by Super Bowl advertising though, because we wanted to try this new cheese-stuffed finger-food crust pizza that the endlessly annoying Jessica Simpson carried straight into every man’s libido during half-time this year.
My question is, do they pay someone to sit in a cubicle all day and think of new and exciting ways to re-invent pizza every three years or so, or does an idea like this come to you out of the blue while eating cheese-sticks and pizza at your local tavern? I mean, isn’t pizza the #1 consumed food in America? Why do we even have to come up with new variations on something that is already a favorite of everyone and their grandmothers? Regardless, some idiot decided to turn a pizza crust into a collection of 28 cheese-sticks and my friends and I were idiotic to take the bait hook, line and sinker.
We ended up waiting nearly 45 minutes for our pizza after we ordered it. Our waitress was the only one in the restaurant, waiting on six+ tables at any given moment and dealing with some pretty ornery customers. I can’t blame her entirely, and she was nice enough to notice our long wait and offer us 15% off of our bill, so the blame falls squarely on the rest of the apathetic (yet strangely over-eager) employees of this less-than-desirable Pizza Hut location.
When we finally received our meal (and a free order of breadsticks for our wait), my first thought was that the slices of pizza with the bulbous cheese-filled dough on the edge looked like some kind of monster foot from a muppet movie. The meal was boring and bland at best and some of the bacon pieces on my half of the pie were far too fatty to be a pizza topping. All of the cutesy innovative aesthetics couldn’t save this thing. We were hungry, though, so I ate my two slices in a hurry. Cheap tomato sauce, flavorless cheese and a greasy rubbery crust were the extent of this media-induced whim of a meal.
If you have been eager to try this new pizza from Pizza Hut, my advice is to buy a high-end frozen pizza and a few microwave cheese-sticks and have a much better meal than I had.
*Price reflects 15% discount we received due to long wait.
Rating: 2.5 / 5
March 16th, 2007 at 6:10 am
CHEep