• Just like average Americans who have bills to pay and are strapped for cash, my state has turned to selling stuff on eBay to make an extra buck. (eBay via Chicagoist)
• GAP clothing stores are selling bicycles this holiday season. Because, you know, you’re not cool unless you have an argyle bike. (Consumerist)
• One Laptop Per Child has begun their give one/get one program, where you can buy a laptop for a child in the developing world and get one for the child within as well. Great feel-good geekiness and an important charity! (Amazon)
• An Oak Lawn car dealership is offering $1.00 PT Cruisers with the purchase of any 2008 Chrysler Pacifica. If someone doesn’t have the room on their driveway for two cars, let me know. I think I have a dollar laying around here somewhere. (Chicago Breaking News)
• There’s a twelve year old kid in New York who’s reviewing restaurants… Awesome! (NYT)
• The future is here! You can now order pizza through your television set!!! Hoverboard, here I come. (Boing Boing Gadgets)

Review: By definition, Cafe Hoang is a bit out of place as a Vietnamese restaurant in Chinatown, but sometimes it’s good to be out of place. With a small dining room and a large reputation for being one of the better Vietnamese restaurants in the city, you should be prepared to show up before Cafe Hoang opens or wait in a line after it does. Once seated, don’t expect a quickly stir-fried wok-o-food either. Patience breeds good eats… And so does Cafe Hoang’s practice of making all of its dishes fresh to order. If you want quick service and average food, there are plenty of other places within walking distance (Yes, I’m talking you you, impatient guy with the stupid-looking soul patch who wouldn’t stop flagging down the waitress and holding up everyone’s service!). If you want thorough service and delicious, flavorful food at carry-out prices, Hoang’s the place.

Though the thought of a crab flavored doughnut sounds disgusting, if such a thing were delicious, these crispy rangoons would be the pinnacle. I’m told that Cafe Hoang mixes their rangoon filling fresh each day, and my taste buds believe the hype. With a perfect balance of crab meat to cream cheese and not a soggy spot on the crispy wonton wrappers, these rangoons melt in your mouth. Each rangoon also happens to be the size of a slider, so this order of four is plenty for even a party of four.

Though, I have to say I am quite pleased that my party only consisted of two. As if the rest of the items on the menu in all of their glorious 8×11 photo display around the dining room weren’t tempting enough, Cafe Hoang’s crab rangoon is enough to keep me coming back and waiting patiently.

Rating: 4.75 / 5

Review: The slogan that LaVazza boasts makes me seriously second guess everything I’ve been told about Italy and coffee culture. For those of you unfamiliar, LaVazza’s slogan happens to be “Italy’s Favorite Coffee.”

Hmm…

Please don’t misunderstand. This coffee wasn’t bad. It was simply… well… nothing special. You know how some people have a morning ritual of going to the same corner diner every day for a cup of coffee regardless of its strength or flavor? Maybe they go for the people who work there or simply because it is a convenient stop on their way to work. Well, maybe Italy loves LaVazza for the same reasons.

Or maybe slogans are great examples of an elasticized truth.

Regardless, I have trouble believing Italy loves what this particular LaVazza serves. I like a good cup of weak and flavorless coffee as much as the next nighthawk, but when there is a Dunkin’ Donuts less than a block away, I see no reason to stop at this LaVazza ever again. Alternatively, I may not like Starbucks, but even their coffee has more of a flavor… not a good one… just more of one.

Cheap diner coffee only works in diners.

Rating: 2.25 / 5

• Above: One of my favorite group of pranksters, The Yes Men, spread some hope by printing up over a million copies of a “special edition” New York Times that ran the front-page headline, Iraq War Ends. Check out the video. (via BoingBoing)
• Wait… you mean to tell me that my made-in-China electronics aren’t really worth what I paid for them? I never did trust electronics companies. You could even say it’s an antitrust! (Crain’s)
• Attention Chicago readers: Shop for holiday gifts in Roscoe Village on Nov. 20th and help benefit non-profit food pantry, Common Pantry. (Chicagoist)
• The Arkansas Supreme Court struck down the state’s Check-Casher’s Act. If you’re looking for a 168%-559% loan in AK (typos two days in a row… not sure if I need more coffee or less), you’ll have to go to a loan shark and get one illegally. Kinda f*%#ed up that this is the exception, huh? (CL&PB)
• President-Elect, Barack Obama imposed strict ethics rules on his transition team regarding lobbyists and plans on carrying these rules into his presidency. If this isn’t positive change, I don’t know what is! (Change.gov)
• An adult film entrepreneur has offered Sarah Palin $2,000,000 for her to star in a MILF film. This brings a new meaning to “stimulus plan,” eh? (PalinSuperMilf) (SFW… for now)
• Economy is tanked, but lawyers probably don’t need to worry too much… Some dude sued Classmates.com because after he paid to join the site, he found out that his classmates weren’t really looking for him, as many of their e-mails state. Wait, you mean the star cheerleader I went to High School isn’t really looking for me? Something tells me we’re going to see a lot more hot-coffee-burned-me-because-I-lack-common-sense lawsuits in the near future. (Wired)
• Finally, if anyone doesn’t know what to get me for the holidays (or any of your other culinarily inclined friends…but mainly me), may I suggest these super-awesome herb scissors? (Amazon via BoingBoingGadgets)

• Reduce, recycle, reuse… and Repair! (Planet Green)
• Awesome Charity Alert!!! Mustaches For Kids! This year’s growing season starts tomorrow! (M4K)
• I have no desire to be a wealthy New Yorker, but if I could have been one last night, I would have definitely went gone to Per Se and ateNYT)
• Buy a handmade ceramic bowl here in the Chicago suburbs and help feed the hungry. I love handmade flatware… or curvedware! (The Stew)
• Huh… Broke-ass American consumers are failing to sustain the economy. Whodathunk it? (NYT)
• Man Punches a woman for opening his canned meat. Times are tough, y’all. Don’t mess with a man’s canned meat! Oh yes, and don’t smoke crack. (TCPalm)
• During troubled economic times, more people are turning toward internet psychics. I guess bus fare tends to break the budget when you are paying for people to tell you what you want to hear. (Wired)
• The art market is tough right now so one high paid painter is set to pay homage to starving artists by giving away several of his pieces. (Independent)
• One of my favourite magazines, The Economist is branching out to Italian-American food lovers… by advertising on pizza boxes. (AdFreak)

image via FFFFOUND

much love to the word-nerds who correct my late-night bloggrammar

Review: New walking route to work. New cafe to try! Whoop-whoop!

I’ve tried LaVazza coffee before, but this was my first time setting foot in an actual LaVazza establishment. Why didn’t anyone tell me that Matthew Barney and Gloria Jeans made it and had a child together? Does Bjork know? This place screams “I’m Hip!!!” but is really just another off-Michigan Ave. place to get coffee. Not good. Not bad. Just there. The Cranberry muffin is another story.

With a sandy-sweet saturated muffin top and gummy-moist cake body, this muffin doesn’t qualify as tolerable breakfast fare. I’m not sure the muffin was old, since it tasted like the pancakes I made when I was six years old as opposed to the three day old pancakes I ate a few weeks ago for dinner. The cranberries reminded me of those faux gummy bear-like fruit snacks every kid had in his lunchbox in the eighties.

LaVazza may be “Italy’s favorite coffee,” but that says nothing of their pastries. I’ve had better vending machine muffin-ettes.

Looks like I will re-route my route to work back to the old route. Whoop-whoop!

Rating: 0.75 / 5

• American Express needs a loan because people like you and I are having trouble paying off their own loans so they are no longer going to be a credit card company, but a Bank Holding Company. When do I get to change my status and re-label myself a “rich man” as part of an economic shoring up? Rich men seem to get free meals and other special treatment, and that would make it a lot easier to pay off my bills, thus making it easier for AmEx to survive. Right? (NYT)
• Bake sales won’t bail us out… Not with people worrying about eating healthy and all. Gosh, recessions used to be a whole lot easier. People used to be happy with beans instead of bean curd and omega-3s. (NYT)
• China has announced an economic stimulus plan equal to 7% of their GDP. Our bailout was only about 1%. All that money… Maybe we’ll be able to get some of our money back? Oh wait… we don’t sell to China… We make stuff there and buy cheap labor there. (NYT)
• Starbucks profit fell 97% in the fourth quarter. That’s a tall loss… Or is it a Venti? I always forget. (Starbucks Gossip)
• Finally, don’t forget to thank our veterans for all they’ve done for us. We wouldn’t be where we are without them.

• Hot on the tail of Circuit City closing 155 stores, Tweeter Home Entertainment Group is filing Chapter 11. (Crain’s)
• The economy is Obama’s top priority. I suppose this means that Fox News’ top priority will be paying close attention to economic policy… something they didn’t do too well over the last eight years. (Crains & Bill O’Reilly admitting he made a mistake)
• Gun sales surge on news of Obama winning the election. I’m not sure that’s the economic stimulus we need. (Reuters)
• Duke Energy company is going to start paying their customers to install solar panels! (NPR via ThingsAreGood)

• First Black president. Final days of the worst president ever. Youth and apathetic Americans politically engaged, full of hope and ready to work toward a better America and world. So, what are people talking about? Why, Michelle Obama’s dress, of course! (Everywhere)
• Maybe the Chinese economy will be saved now that Wal-Mart is set up to kick ass this holiday season? (NYT)
• People are having trouble affording food…except people who go out to dinner in cities. They’re actually spending more. It seems that recession meal specials may be fueling this eat-out craze!… That or the fact that few people know how to cook anymore? (Sun Times)
• I know some of you believe that God is responsible for everything, but this is ridiculous! (Food For Life via Consumerist)
• Since Buy Nothing Day will probably be widely observed this year, Best Buy is trying to increase consumer participation by holding a Black Friday essay writing contest. Participants are asked to describe how important a family ritual Black Friday shopping is. Here’s mine… it’s a haiku:
  Parents and Children
Trample others for a Wii
Anything for love

  Here’s another:

  Credit cards are maxed
I'll be paying until death
Santa can suck it.
  (Consumerist)

• And finally, for those of you with a philosophy student on your holiday shopping list, I have found the perfect gift. (Craigslist)

image via FFFFOUND!